Why My 30s Is Far Better Than My 20s

20s..it is regarded as the golden period of anyone’s life. You enjoy your life maximum, make new friends, enjoy college life, bunk classes, go on tours, have fun, the list is endless! It is also the period of first crushes, infatuations and life looks all rosy and sweet from outside. But, still if you ask me to make a choice between my 20s and 30s, I would gladly choose my 30s. Of course, I do miss the time spent with my friends, enjoying the carefree life, fun at hostel and college tours. But, still I believe 30s made me a better person! Though life looks all rosy and sweet, 20s is not that easy as it might look from outside!

From Insecurities To A Composed Self

20s is also the time of insecurities. We don’t know where our life is heading. We are not sure whether we have chosen the right career. We don’t know what career to choose and so on! Of course, there will be extra brilliant students who have already sorted their career paths by then. But, I’m speaking for the average students like me! We are in a complete mess! Insecurities about a career, job, personal lives and even more issues crop up. In short even we don’t know whether we will be successful in life! We look up at our successful friends or seniors and wonder whether we will ever reach that level.

But, now at my 30s, I can confidently say that I’m much more composed and grounded than in my 20s. I have sorted it all out. All those things which I had thought I will never be able to do or achieve, I have done it! I’m not bragging and I have not got any national medal. But I have reached where I wanted to reach and I’m content! After all, that is what matters!

From Inferiority Complexes To Confidence!

Anyone who knows the new me in my 30s will laugh out loud if I told them I had deep inferiority complexes in my 20s. But, that is the truth! I never thought kindly about myself. I often used to think I’m a good for nothing person! Engineering was never my chosen field and I had to struggle studying all those structural designs and stuff. I look around and see my friends doing all those complex stuff easily and I was left in deep inferiority complex pit! I always thought why I cannot understand all these? Why I can’t learn all these easily like them? God only knows how I passed all those exams! I had to put in more efforts than most of my friends to learn it. Even when I started working, there also no one acknowledged my efforts. Always, I felt stupid. I felt worthless. I felt I’m good for nothing! I used to write in my school days. But I had left all those behind. Now, I never did the things I love! I never wrote anything, I never drew even a small picture, I never did anything I’m good at! I tried to fit in with others and failed miserably. Still, I failed to realise that it is not my fault. It was just that it was not my cup of tea! But, I never knew that and no one ever told me that! So, I lived in this deep pit of inferiority complex and cried myself to sleep every night!

But, in my 30s I finally realised that engineering was not my cup of tea! It is just that it is not what I’m good at! I’m good at many other things which lay long lost and forgotten! So, I picked up my pieces and started to set things out straight! I started writing, something I loved and something I’m good at! I discovered that I love cooking! In the 20s at the time of my marriage I didn’t know to cook at all. And the new bride was taunted by cousins that my hubby will have to eat food from neighbour’s home as the bride doesn’t know to cook anything! Maybe they said in jest. But it hurt me so badly! A new bride, in midst of new people, new surroundings and new life! It is not easy to adjust. It is like uprooting yourself from one place to another. She needs care and comfort at least in the first few weeks! And, when I heard these words just the day after my marriage, I was so depressed. Again the ‘I’m good for nothing!” feeling started too crop up! My husband told to leave it, they just told that for fun! But maybe because of my immaturity or insecurities, I was hurt!

But, soon after that we shifted to a new home and I discovered I love cooking and can cook easily for my family and the neighbouring family too quite effortlessly! That gave me a new rush of confidence and I started believing I’m not that bad after all! Now, in my 30s, I’m confident about my skills. I’m complimented for the things I do! But, this happened only because I finally chose myself, my dreams and my passions over anything else! My hubby dearest also stood like a rock and asked me to go ahead and do the things I love! That helped me and finally I could climb up from the pit of inferiority complex and started to believe in myself! Now, many friends ask me how I’m so confident and how I always have a positive outlook towards life! But they don’t know or realise that I didn’t have all these in my 20s. I only gained all these in my 30s!

Being Vulnerable To Being Strong!

20s was a very very vulnerable age for me! Many people hurt me with their words and actions! I was fooled by many and I was left crying under the shower. I can’t even count the number of days I cried out loud in my shower. No one physically hurt me, but there were many who emotionally hurt me! I was so immature and maybe stupid! I trusted the wrong people and suffered in the end! People whom I considered to be good friends turned out to be really bad choices to be even considered as a friend. I don’t know why I made the same mistake again and again but I guess I was so vulnerable and innocent then. I didn’t know there are people who cheat you and speaks ill about you behind your back. Those things are only in films! How stupid was I!

But, now in my 30s, I know how to choose my friends and have an inner voice that send the warning signal if I even speak once to a person who is not trustworthy. I steer clear of such people and can now proudly say that I have only good friends I can count on any moment of my life! Maybe the number of friends I have now is reduced to a few handful than the uncountable number of friends I had back then. But, a trustworthy handful is always better than cunning and backbiting countless! Of course, it doesn’t mean that I had only bad friends in my 20s. I had many great friends in my 20s and they are still my best friends!

Being Clueless To Being Grounded!

In my 20s I was completely clueless where my life is heading. I always had this feeling that I’m not going to make it! While I looked in awe at my friends choosing great careers and great partners, I was still left clueless not sure whether I will get a compatible partner, a true love or a good career. I was almost sure that I’m not going to achieve any of these!

But, now in my 30s I can happily say that I have found my true love, an understanding partner and a career which I love! The path was tough, was full of stones and thorns, but I made it! 30s made me responsible as I’m now a mother of two small kids. Being a mother is a beautiful feeling and it helps you to grow emotionally too. You realise that there are 2 pairs of little eyes that look up to you and you cannot let them down, no matter what! It gives you a new vigour to face life and cross all hurdles life throws at you!

Now, this is to my dear little brothers and sisters who are in their 20s and struggling through the same insecurities, complexes, depressions and had to face their share of heartbreaks, and failures- Be strong! It is just a passing phase. A new dawn will wake up to witness a new refined you, confident you and a successful you! I feel you and I have been there! I can understand and I can vouch for the fact that it will all get better with time! You will reach where you had thought you will never reach! You will achieve what you might believe you will never achieve! You will find your true life in your 30s!

Also, even when I was 29, I didn’t want to become 30! Just like any woman who loves her 20s, I used to say, “oh! I don’t want to become 30, I will be considered old!” But, I never knew that 30s had such a sweet collection of happiness in store for me! So, now in my 30s, I can happily declare that, yes, I’m in my 30s and don’t wish to go back! I like this new me!

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Roshna Ikbal says:

    I love this and yes I relate very much to it…. Thanks for writing this piece… its exactly how I feel… I feel stupid when it comes to studies,feel unfit for engineering, I have had all kind of back biting friends and was always hurt by someone or the other….. but now I am better at choosing friends… stronger than before and yes I do believe that this is a passing phase… n I hope to overcome all this… Thank You Chechi 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You will overcome all those dear..that is why i asked you to read this..to make you realise this is normal and it will pass away..you will also reach where you wish to be in your 30s


      1. Roshna Ikbal says:

        Thanks chechi… u r so kind 😊

        Liked by 1 person

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