Most of us have various passions..some are passionate towards dance, some to sing, some to play cricket; and so on! The sea of passions is never ending, deep and filled with precious treasures.
I was this single child with no siblings, no cousins living nearby and my parents, both were working in respectable posts in their respective fields. So, little me was left with no company almost every day school was not functioning. Even the weekends, saturdays and sundays i was left alone at home. My one and only best friend those days were books! I loved to read! We didn’t have television at our home until i was about 12-13 years. Hence, unlike the kids of today’s generation who keep watching cartoons on a 12 hour basis, i was left with only books and more books! I guess that was good. If i had sat watching television the whole day, maybe my creativity would have died a slow death.
I used to keep reading books ever since i learnt to read and write my a,b,c’s. I also started to write down my thoughts ever since i learnt to hold a pencil and write something. Maybe because i grew up alone, i was a bit of introvert who preferred to write rather than talk. It was easier for me to express my emotions, my pain, my agony, my happiness and almost every emotion a little girl goes through by writing! If someone had asked me to speak about my emotions or feelings directly to their face, I’m sure i would have been tongue-tied. Instead, if they give me a paper and pencil, the emotions would flow like an uninterrupted rush of waves.
I used to write about anything and everything under the sun- about the bird that nested on our mango tree, about missing my mom when she used to stay in hostels, about a quarrel with my best friend, about a craving for a chocolate, about the fear of exams..and so on!
Soon i grew up, finished my 12th board exams and was planning what to do next. My parents wanted me to pursue engineering while i wanted to study literature or journalism. But, sadly literature is a subject that is looked down by many. People have this wrong notion that literature is only chosen by those students who are weak in their studies, have low marks and does not stand a chance in all those prestigious entrance exams. Either engineering or medicine, all other courses are considered inferior! My parents too considered taking up literature as something very silly, something that would spoil my future!
I tried to reason with them, tried to explain my passion for writing, but as i said earlier, i was not very good with words when i speak. If i had instead written a letter to them, maybe they would have understood. But who writes letters to a family member living in the same house? So, my pleas fell on deaf years and off i went for the mandatory entrance coaching. I hated the place. It was this top rated entrance coaching centre which believed in pressurising students to the maximum extent so that they would study. But for me, the more i felt pressurized, the more i had this urge to break free and flee.
After the gruesome three month crash course, i was ready to attend the entrance and wrote the much celebrated entrance exams! God knows how, i passed the engineering entrance and got placed in one of the best engineering colleges in kerala.
I had to stay in hostel, away from home. This was the first time i was staying away from home. So, i was a bit skeptical and also angry that i had to study engineering. But the college, my classmates and roommates in hostel totally changed my outlook towards engineering. I loved the place and made many great friends. Finally, i came out of my cocoon and started to speak my heart out. I learnt to laugh loudly, bunk classes and enjoy life at my college and hostel. I regard those days as the golden days of my life.
Still, the writer in me grieved and grieved! The college life, fun and frolic bought an end to my writings and i rarely took the book and pen to scribble my thoughts.
Fast forward, i took an MBA, started working as a civil engineer and later got married. Still, i was not writing. I left that passion in my schooldays. The passion laid dejected, forgotten and grieved. But often, on all those nights i found it hard to sleep, i remembered my passion. I felt guilty that i left my passion in the whirlwind of life.
Later i gave birth to a pretty angel and had to stop working to take care of my baby. When i was pregnant, i started writing again about my dreams about the baby. My husband saw those writings and encouraged me to write more. Still, i didn’t get much time as i was caught up in the worries and stress of being a first time mom. Later i had a cute, naughty boy too. After he was born, that is when i seriously started thinking about my passion for writing. I started thinking about my career possibilities after a long career gap. Do i wish to go back to be the civil engineer who does all those steel and concrete structure designs? The answer was a loud “No”! That is not my passion. I will never be good at it. I knew that.
Then i got this chance to start writing for my friend’s homemade cake business. It was a startup venture and i used to write about her cakes. Slowly, people started recognising my writings and many of her customers told her that the way her cake descriptions are written, one just start craving to have a bite! That is when i realised my passion, my writing, is still within me! That day, i decided that this is my chosen path and i will follow my passion, no matter what! It might not sound glamorous like an engineer or doctor, but it is what i love doing!
So, i started looking for writing jobs and soon got one without much searching. It was indeed a pleasant surprise for me. So, here i’m writing and writing each and everyday..about anything and everything under the sun! That schoolgirl who loved writing is back with a new spurt of life, energetic and happy! I’m also blessed to have a hubby who understood my passion for writing and supported me like a rock. Now i’m not that introvert anymore. I do speak my heart out just like i write.Still, if you ask me to choose one, obviously the answer is writing!